Starvation

I was talking to Julian about my chaotic room. I mentioned to him about how my carpet was graced by the presence of my drumsticks, Mike's drumstick, music magazines, pen, paper, an acoustic guitar, tuner and cds. Next you see my macbook with my ipod attached running down my bed. I also mentioned to him that this could pass as the room of a starving musician. He then told me that I am so into music that I'm starving and depriving myself by not being a musician. He then pointed out how my facial expression when i sat on the "throne" of the drum set at guitar center pointed out my exact feeling, I was at home. I wanted to cry at that moment, because I knew he knew exactly what had been missing in life these past nineteen years of my existence. Music is my daily necessity, it gets me through everything that life throws at me in a daily basis. I carefully scrutinize the lyrics from my favorite artists and I figure out the messages they are trying to send out. I once had a friend who listened to nothing but rap, and when I told him i live by the lyrics in my music, he said bluntly "you listen to lyrics a lot don't you?". I snapped back and said "isn't that the purpose of music?". Then someone i once knew said to me that "that's why people who listen to rock are more into music". I am not trying to bash anyone, or any type of music. I'm just trying to piece together the signs that God has thrown at me these past few years. I wanted to cry when Julian had to pry me away from the set last Friday night. It was as if that set was calling my name, begging me to play it, begging me to bang on its snare and its bass drum, and to perform epic "rolls". I am in love, and this love will never die, I can guarantee it. I will live by the drums, and die by the drums.

"music is a part of your life, now it's a part of your soul" --- Julian